Getting Started with Family Home Evening

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What is Family Home Evening?

    Family home evening is a special time set aside each week that brings family
    members together and strengthens their love for each other, helps them draw
    closer to Heavenly Father, and encourages them to live righteously. (see also
    Prophets' statements on FHE below)

    In 1915 President Joseph F. Smith and his counselors in the First Presidency
    [of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints]
    began a Church-wide effort to strengthen the family. They called on parents in the Church to gather their children once each week for a "Home Evening." Families were to take time to pray and sing together, read the scriptures, teach the gospel to one another, and participate in other activities that would build family unity.

    In 1970 President Joseph Fielding Smith joined with his counselors in the First Presidency to designate Monday night as the time for family home evening. Since that announcement, the Church has kept Monday evenings free from Church activities so families can have this time together.

    Latter-day prophets continue to urge Church members to give highest priority to family home evening. They have promised that our dedication to this program will help protect our families against the evils of our time and will bring us abundant joy now and throughout the eternities.

    Although family home evening should begin and end with prayer, it is not intended to be a formal class. In a statement regarding family home evening in 1915, the First Presidency said that "formality and stiffness should be studiously avoided, and all the family should participate in the exercises." (http://lds.org/hf/display/0,16783,4224-1,00.html)

What have Prophets said about FHE? or What's in it for me?

    "If the Saints obey this counsel [to hold regular family home evenings],
    we promise that great blessings will result. Love
    at home and obedience to parents will increase. Faith will be developed in the hearts
    of the youth of Israel, and they will gain power to combat the evil influence and
    temptations which beset them."

    (First Presidency letter, 27 April 1915 - Joseph F. Smith, Anthon H. Lund, Charles
    W. Penrose, emphasis added)

    "Family home evening is for everyone. It is for families with parents and children,
    for families with just one parent, and for parents who have no children at home. It is
    for home evening groups of single adults and for those who live alone or with
    roommates... Regular participation in family home evening will develop increased
    personal worth, family unity, love for our fellow men, and trust in our Father in heaven."

    (Family Home Evening, 1976 - Spencer W. Kimball, N. Eldon Tanner, and Marion G. Romney, emphasis added)

    "Our spiritual progress, individually and as a Church, will largely be determined by
    how faithfully we live the gospel in our homes... Fathers should lead their families in
    holding meaningful family home evenings. Such experiences will build family unity and
    influence each person toward increased righteousness and happiness."

    (Family Home Evening, 1980 - Spencer W. Kimball, N. Eldon Tanner, and Marion G. Romney, emphasis added)

    "Family home evenings should be scheduled once a week as a time for discussions of
    gospel principles, recreation, work projects, skits, songs around the piano, games,
    special refreshments, and family prayers. Like iron links in a chain, this practice
    will bind a family together, in love, pride, tradition, strength, and loyalty."

    (Salvation; A Family Affair, Ensign, July 1992, p. 4 - President Ezra Taft Benson, emphasis added)

    "We call upon parents to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of
    their children in gospel principles which will keep them close to the Church. The home
    is the basis of a righteous life, and no other instrumentality can take its place or
    fulfill its essential functions in carrying forward this God-given responsibility. We
    counsel parents and children to give highest priority to family prayer, family home
    evening, gospel study and instruction, and wholesome family activities."

    (First Presidency letter, 11 February 1999 - Gordon B. Hinckley, Thomas S. Monson,
    and James E. Faust, emphasis added)

    These above statements are as quoted at
    LDS.org.

What advice do we have on adapting family home evening
to small children?

I have young children, and planning family home evenings that can involve them
is often difficult. The following tips were condensed from the FHE manual:

  • Don't wait until school age to begin holding Family Home Evenings (This is so true:
    my siblings and I begged to have FHE as older children, but when my parents actually
    tried to hold it, we complained and whined and acted out so badly about missing our
    favorite tv shows, that our parents were literally forced to give it up. On the other
    hand, we've been doing FHE in our home since our oldest was very small--now he won't let
    us forget to have it! -Jenny)
  • Let smaller children help prepare for FHE (see my fhe planners page)
  • Give each child a turn to say prayers, choose songs, choose games, pick
    refreshments, and even give part of the lesson
  • Use visual aids such as puppets, object lessons, or flannel board figures
    as much as possible (inexpensive Visual
    Aid cutouts
    are available from LDS Church Distribution)
  • Keep lessons SHORT! If you have both small children and teenagers, consider
    breaking the lesson into short, varied sections, remembering the needs of older children.
  • Don't worry if games last longer than your gospel lesson! Children can learn
    alot in a short time, and you're establishing the habit of spending time weekly
    as a family. (Talk about a relief! and Yes, this is straight from the Church! Keep in
    mind that a lesson in Nursery class (Primary 1)
    is just 10 minutes long with 15 minutes for activity and 10 minutes for a snack.)

The following tips on FHE for smaller children are from me:

Family Home Evening Lesson Exchange Groups

    LDS.About.com has a great article about how you can organize a Family Home Evening Lesson Exchange Group. Basically, get a group of families together and assign each family a lesson topic. The family creates a lesson and makes duplicates of it for all the members of the group. Then, you hold a dinner where you explain the lesson to each group, exchange the lessons, and everyone goes home with several new family home evening lessons!

Articles and other resources

The following resources are from LDS.org:

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Comments

twila_hardy's picture

I need some advice. My

I need some advice. My husband is not a member of the church. On the other hand, I am. And have been my entire life. So this makes it akward sometimes to try family home evening. I don't know how to do it to make him not feel uncomfortable. His sister is the only member in his family. She is actually married to our Bishop's son. LOL
I feel like I am the only one in my home that will put forth any effort into prayer of any kind or family home evening. I need some advice. Please let me know if you have anything to offer. Thanks so much

Twila

Twila Hardy

lgoering's picture

I think one of the easiest

I think one of the easiest ways to get your husband and family to do FHE is to not call in FHE. What I mean is start out small, try to get the family to get together and play a game or go for a walk on Monday night (or whatever night works best for your family). After you have been able to do that for a couple weeks then try adding in a lesson or a lesson and a treat. Slowly you can try and work in a prayer and a song. But if a song and a prayer make your husband not want to participate then say a little prayer in your heart. The prophets have given us the structure of family home evening, but all of our situations are different and Heavenly Father understands that. Growing up my father wasn't a member and because he didn't want to participate in FHE, neither did us kids. Hopefully that helps your family as I think it would have helped mine.

thefourthwisemonkey's picture

I think that's great advice!

I think that's great advice! I did that for a long time. And sometimes its ok to not call it a 'lesson'. If taking a walk, ask the kids about things they see. Then you can all share how you feel these things are blessings, or you can tell a story. There are ways to communicate meaning to your family without delivering a sermon. Good Luck! Just take a deep breath! Family Home Evening is just that. Its ok to make it your own. At least you are trying. Kudos to you! Keep it up!

Jenny Smith's picture

Feeling like you're the one

Feeling like you're the one getting it done is a common feeling even in two member households. My husband is a returned missionary and lifelong member, but until recently, I have still led the way in starting FHE, family scripture study, and family prayer. I think women are just more sensitive to receiving and obeying counsel (Sorry guys).

Have you approached your husband with your desire to have family home evening or family prayer? I am not a fan of the sneak-it-in or trick-them-into-it approach. If you're trying make regular time to improve family relationships, give yourselves as parents opportunities to pass your values on to the children, and have fun, say so. You may be pleasantly surprised. Your husband may even have ideas on how to make FHE work for your family. Your FHEs don't have to be preachy or formal. You aren't required to start with a song/prayer/scripture. Do whatever works for your family. FHE is intended to strengthen families, whatever their circumstances.

But my advice is to say what you're doing. That way, Dad can participate, too. He's likely to be pleased to be invited to pass on his values and share time with the kids, too. Don't make him feel like you're using this time as a way to trick or trap him into hearing the gospel. FHE is FAMILY -- not necessarily CHURCH -- time.

Sometimes the Lord calms the sea; sometimes He calms the sailor.

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